Toni Coleman Brown

Why is CHANGE so hard?

The topic of my writings today is all about the question, Why is change so hard? I am writing this piece to pay homage to all the good people out there who may find themselves struggling to create real change in their lives.  If you’re one of those people then allow me to entertain you for a moment while I dictate some of my thoughts on change.

First the question itself deserves a challenge.  And my challenge comes in the form of other questions, such as:

Is change really hard? And could it be possible that change is actually easy? When I sit down to really think about it, I actually believe that it is possible that change is easy and we make it hard.

Why Do We Make Changing Hard When In Fact It’s Really Easy?

I believe that we as humans fight against ourselves constantly.  We know exactly what we need to do to create a great life and to get all the things that we desire, which is mostly, financial freedom, a great body, and awesome relationships.  But we fight with ourselves on a daily basis to take things easy and to play safe versus taking risks and getting uncomfortable by challenging our often repetitive existence.

You see the familiar is easy. But familiarity can numb us and pull us into a dull existence. But different is hard, challenging and unknown and often quite frightening.  Which could possibly be the root cause of why we never get the things we say that we want.  It is because we like to stay comfortable, like Linus with his blanket.  We too have our blankets and pacifiers.  We call them jobs and regular commutes and they become our lives never to be challenged.

Maybe challenge is too harsh of a solution.  Possibly the solution may lie simply in redirection.

Redirection…

Thoughts beget feelings and feelings prompt action and action brings about results.  It is quite possible that a simple redirection in thoughts can yield different feelings that prompt different actions, which brings about different results.  Could it be that real change is just as simple as that?

I say YES!

True success begins with a plan.  And a good plan will include tactics for managing risks.  And the biggest risk of all change is going to back to the way things were.  Or in other words falling back into the same old habits.  The best way to manage this risk of reverting to old ways is to have protocols in place to redirect yourself and mechanisms to get back on track.  Redirection is one of the best tools.

It takes 21 days to change a behavior, but it takes 240 to make it permanent and help it to stick.

Introducing…21 + 240 a new paradigm for creating real change.

21 + 240 is a new paradigm for successful change that I created.  It involves 21 days of creating a new habit, plus an additional 240 days to make it stick.  I want to encourage everyone to try this new method of creating real and permanent change.  All you have to do is identify a new habit and allow yourself 21 days of activity that demonstrates the new behavior that you want to model, plus another 240 days of the same activity so that it can become permanent. The additional 240 days will make the new activity such a regular part of life that it will feel like you’re simply brushing your teeth.

This is a new paradigm that I know works.  I have been testing it on small things and it has been working.  The two activities has been first, making my bed in the morning.  I never liked to make my bed.  But one day I was doing a FB Live and my girlfriend talked about how she cannot leave the house without making her bed.  So I decided to try it.  And I did it one morning and I haven’t been able to stop since.  I’ve become addicted to the neat appearance and I feel like I have to have it.

The next activity is clearing out the sink of any dishes at night.  This one has been a little more difficult because I find myself letting me off the hook if it’s only one or two dishes.  But I am working on it and it appears to be slowly working.  The next activity I want to tackle is exercise.  I want to get in the habit of exercising everyday.  I am going to start small and build on it.  And I will see how it goes.

Come back here often to see how I am doing and also to cheer me on.  If there is one thing that I know for sure, it is that I am not going to give up.  If you find yourself struggling with thoughts of quitting.  Click here to listen to my latest podcast on never giving up.

Until next time…stay blessed.

 

 

 

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